Ode to an Empty Convention Room: A Poem

by Eric Thornett

as portrayed by Debbie Rochon and Joe Bob Briggs


'Twas the night after a convention

and all through the lobby

not an object was left

of video or hobby


It was lonely for Joe Bob Briggs

and Debbie Rochon, it seems.

Because now they were left alone

with broken hearts, and dreams

The two of them were grumbling

because they wanted to make more money

"I wanted some more cake," said Joe Bob

"Plus I miss the honeys."

But then came a sound

of a familiar crinkle.

They perked up like a cat disembowling a mouse

and their eyes began to twinkle!

For here came a straggler

with a one dollar bill

It's not time to pack up!

There's more stuff to shill!

They hawked their books and videos!

And papers with their signatures!

Photos of them in bikinis (not Joe Bob)

Smabdabblers and Kaflingers!

(NASA enhanced image)

But the man left empty handed

(except for his single buck).

He decided to buy a Pepsi.

Snarled Debbie, "that cheap idiot."

Then the ghost of a He-Man doll

appeared out of thin air.

"Conventions aren't about money!" he said

"You should be happy to be here!"


"You have your friends and your health

and lots of fans came to see you!

Appreciate your good fortune!

You know this is true!"


Then in a puff of talcum powder,

He-Man disappeared.

Joe Bob and Debbie thought about it

and then they were cheered!

"That Barbie was right!" said Debbie

"We've got everything we need!"

"I agree!" said Joe Bob.

"There's no point in greed!"


And with that lesson learned,

they became better people.

Merry Christmas to all,

And a Happy Halloween too!